The Wren's Journey

Category: career

  • My Journey in Pastry School: Week One

    My Journey in Pastry School: Week One

    This past week has been a whirlwind, and I’ve been trying to find little pockets of time to stay connected with my loved ones, study more French, and prepare my meals. Mornings revolve around calculating how much time I have left to down my coffee before I need to leave for school. The walk takes about 30 minutes, though I could probably cut that in half if I took the train. But I choose to walk – it’s my time to breathe in the crisp morning air and observe Parisianson their morning commute. Since I live in a non-touristy area, people assume I’m French, or at least fluent, which constantly feels like you’re playing an undercover spy game. 

    A Magical Start

    School has been both incredible and intense. I’ve never started something where, as they announced the curriculum on the first day, I got genuinely excited. Not ‘oh okay, I can do this,’ but ‘Yes! I want to learn that! And that! And that too!’ This must be my version of Harry Potter going to Hogwarts – except instead of magic, I get to nerd out about the art of pastry. 

    When asked about how to not gain weight when studying pastry, the pastry professor said, “Tasting is two or three bites. Anything more is classified as eating.”

    What We Did in Week One

    • Getting our uniforms and lockers – Every morning, we change into our jackets, pants, and steel-toed kitchen clogs. As long as we’re roaming around in school, we need to be in uniform. Once we enter the labs, we have to add in hairnets, pastry hats, and aprons to keep everything clean. The transformation is real because once I wear that jacket, I feel like a pastry chef (even though I know little as of now).   
    • Receiving our toolkits – And what a beauty she is! Opening it felt like Christmas morning. This toolkit contained everything we would need for school, all kinds of rubber and palette spatulas, knives, whisks, tasting spoons, cutter rings, digital scales etc. We learned how to sanitize and store our tools properly. 
    She is lovely.
    • Learning the rules – From how to greet and show respect to our chefs, to what’s allowed (and not allowed) in school, this was our crash course in pastry school etiquette. 
    • Touring the campus and labs – We were shown where we’d be working, where the library was (yes, a library, the nerd in me internally shouts), little rec rooms to hang out in, bathrooms, courtyard where most of the French students smoke and hang out.
    • Diving into hygiene and safety – This was definitely an emphasis as we would be preparing food. Hygiene and cleanliness is king when handling food. If I’m going to be honest, the first quarter of our day would be spent cleaning our tools and the whole area itself. 
    • Discussing the curriculum – This was when it really hit me – we’re going to learn so damn much. From the classic techniques to our final creativity project, everything seemed challenging but exciting. Oh yes, we also go on a lot of field trips!
    Going to a chocolate store with the whole class… for research…
    • Discovering Lunches at the Cafeteria – As expected from one of France’s top culinary schools, even the cafeteria sets a high bar. 
    Soup to start, veal, potatoes, roasted veggies as an entree, and chocolate mousse for dessert.
    • Making Friends – of course, I don’t think I will survive this time living by myself if I didn’t already feel like I have a great group of people to spend this time with. The energy in our international patisserie program is friendly, eager, and collaborative – pretty much like an episode of The Great British Bakeoff. Just yesterday we stayed past 7:30 PM, exhausted and hungry, commiserating and laughing together before heading home. 

    Adjusting to a New Life

    Back home, life was stable. I worked remotely at a cushy desk job, I spoke the language, knew how everything functioned – from grocery stores to the DMV. But moving to another country, even temporarily… that’s an entirely new rulebook.

    This has been easily the longest week I’ve had in a while, simply because I’m constantly learning – even in the smallest things. How to take out the trash, use self-checkout, or turn my phone into a train pass. Nothing is on autopilot yet. 

    How I Spend My Free Time

    When I’m not in school, I’ve been trying to:

    • Make my space feel like home – I’ve picked up a few things to make my rental cozier, rearranged some furniture, and taped photos of my loved ones to the wall. Every time I pass by, I smile, knowing they’re cheering me on in my journey. 
    Home for the next few months.
    • Find green spaces – Coming from the West Coast in the US, where we’re spoiled with open skies, sunshine, and swaths of greenery, Paris in February feels a bit dreary – concrete buildings (the most beautiful architecture, yes, but still slabs of gray), and rain. Luckily I’m sandwiched between two beautiful parks. This Sunday I spent time in one of them getting to know some of the local wildlife. 
    This fella was getting fed by the locals.
    • Cook more meals – as much as I’d love to eat at a different trendy cafe every night, reality (and my student budget) say otherwise. Plus, between rich cafeteria food and all the pastry tasting, I’d rather not fast track myself to sickness. Dining out feels more special when it’s social, so I’ve reserved it for weekends with classmates. The best part? I don’t feel FOMO because I know I have months to experience a lot of what Paris has to offer. 
    My latest masterpiece, tomato soup with grilled cheese. And toast and jam on the side LOL.
    • Stay in touch with loved ones – calls, video chats, texts – whatever it takes to stay connected. 

    A Tired, Happy Heart

    By the end of each day, I’m exhausted and desire nothing more but to put my feet up on the couch. But it’s a good kind of tired – the kind that comes from learning, growing, and feeling like I’m fully experiencing life. I feel younger, more rejuvenated, and eager for whatever pastry school, and life, will throw me next. 

    Til next update!

  • Breaking Free from the Corporate Grind to Create

    Breaking Free from the Corporate Grind to Create

    I’ve come to realize what a luxury it is to reconnect with my creativity. I know not everyone has the opportunity to do this, especially if they have a full-time job and are providing for a family. For me, my mind was constantly preoccupied with work responsibilities, with anxieties from what I still needed to do and how to perform, coupled with dividing time for chores around the home, time spent with my partner, for family commitments, and for myself. No matter who you are, sometimes the day will always be too short. If I wanted to really live a full life with creativity, I had to intentionally carve out time for it. 

    Like a lot of jobs out there, my job was paying the bills but failed to fulfill me. And isn’t that a familiar story? As soon as my eyes opened and my feet hit the floor, my mind was filled with ideas I had if I truly lived life just for me, but instead I had to fire up my work laptop and deliver results for something I failed to truly care about. I felt like I was wasting time, living as a corporate drone for decades now, and I couldn’t see myself doing this until retirement. The prospect filled me with misery and regret and now that I am approaching my late thirties and have been in the corporate world for almost two decades now, I knew something had to change and I had to act while I still could. 

    Removing Fear and Welcoming Flow

    So I bit the bullet. I resigned from my job. As soon as I did, the creativity came easily. My writing just flowed. My ideas were endless, and my imagination was the most lively it has ever been in years.  I realized that a lot of my mental capacity was devoted to making more money for the shareholders of every company that I ever worked at. 

    Why did I wait so long to allow myself this change?

     The answer of course, was fear. Fear of leaving the security of a stable job. Fear of relying on “the arts” and “creativity” to make ends meet. The voices of doubt, heavy with judgement and disappointment, were loud. They came from my parents, friends talking about the artist lifestyle, society’s definitions of success. 

    After years of ignoring these signs from within me, these creative impulses, and sometimes even voices, I finally realized that no one can define success but me. No one can live my life but me. So I made the choice for ME. Just ME. 

    Not because society told me this is what successful people should do. Not because this is the fastest path to get money and be in an “esteemed status” among peers. What a load of crock that programming is anyway. 

    So yes, this might be the most incredibly selfish thing I’ve ever done and I mean selfish in the best possible way. It is freeing to finally do this, and it makes me wonder how many people with incredible talents never pursue their dreams because of the narratives they’ve been told as children. 

    When I resigned from my job, creating came easily. I didn’t have to divide my time to think about spreadsheets and metrics. And to be a little dramatic and use a metaphor here, my life previously felt like a movie playing in black and white. As soon as I said “I quit” to the kind of life that failed to cultivate my soul, the colors flowed back, easily. As if they’ve just been waiting for me to stop blocking my own self from this happiness. 

    One of my first watercolors when I started studying flowers.

    Balancing With Practicality and Planning

    Practicality still plays a vital role of course. Nobody romanticizes the starving artist trope anymore. Art and creativity suffer when basic needs aren’t met, and the reality is, we need the financial stability to support our passions. It’s impossible to create your best work (or even some kind of creative work) while battling hunger or desperation. 

    That’s why I didn’t just quit willy-nilly. Of course I’ve been devising a plan for years, but I just didn’t know when I was going to do it. I was inadvertently making an exit plan so I could pursue a dream eventually. To ensure I’d have a roof over my head, that I still had warm meals, and the security still of knowing the lights would stay on. Reconnecting with my creativity meant creating a foundation where I felt safe and supported. That means having the ability to give The Man the finger with the semblance of a back up plan. That means not alienating your support system, like your family and friends for the decision you’re making. We all have to make it easy on ourselves as much as we can. Only then can we truly devote our full bandwidth to the work we want to pursue. 

    Embracing Joy and Curiosity

    Creativity itself is a joyful pursuit, for me, it’s a practice of curiosity and wonder. It’s about asking, “What if I try this? What If I mix these ideas? Oh, what’s that?” and about giving myself permission to explore without judgment. Throughout my life I realize that I’ve been experimenting with things I never imagined: with writing, with dabbling in watercolors, with eagerly volunteering to bake desserts for potlucks. 

    One of my favorite recipes to bring to a summer barbecue, a pavlova.

    The process itself becomes the reward. Every time I approach a new project with curiosity, the day is inspired, and I feel more alive. I feel grateful to have the chance  and the time to do this more now. I feel appreciative of the mind that allows these words to flow, the fingers that allow me to write, the life experiences that allow me to create something in a particular way, using particular things, feeling particular emotions. 

    It’s not about achieving perfection or any kind of result anymore. It’s about finding joy in my act of creation. Even when something doesn’t turn out as planned, it’s still fulfilling for me to have brought it into existence. Each creation is a small step towards allowing my true self to come out.  

    Inviting Community and Connection

    One of the most unexpected joys of this journey has been the sense of community I’ve found along the way. When I opened up about my creative pursuits – like my decision to study pastry in Paris this year – people responded with encouragement and shared their own dreams. It felt as though giving myself permission to live with authenticity also inspired others to reflect on their own passions. 

    Creativity thrives in connection. Sharing stories, collaborating on projects, and exchanging the novel, the weird, the interesting ideas with others have expanded my world in ways I didn’t anticipate. 

    Reconnecting with my creativity has been a transformative experience, filled with challenges of course, but also immense growth. It’s a reminder to me that life is meant to be lived fully and richly – with purpose, passion, and fulfillment. This path may not be the easiest, and it may not be for everyone, but right now, it’s the one that feels the truest to who I am.