I woke up today feeling good, feeling blessed even. It’s the kind of morning where everything just feels right, the air is crisp and I feel like my life is just flowing with an effortless ease despite the fact that nothing of import has happened today.
With a fresh cup of coffee in hand, I stepped outside for a bit and settled into a perfectly designed outdoor chair. Bless whoever created this furniture masterpiece because it perfectly cushioned me as I watched birds twitter about and squirrels scamper through the towering redwoods on our backyard. Sunlight is streaming through the leaves, flickering as the trees dance this windy winter morning.
To my left, the door leading to the back area is slightly ajar, and I spy our “plant corner”, a collection of plants thriving in a space my partner and I have carefully and lovingly created. He brings the organization and the system in our space, and I bring the natural and the cozy inside. Our home feels like a sanctuary for us both. It’s a life that feels rich and full. In this moment, I am overcome with a deep gratitude – gratitude for the stillness of this morning, I can savor my coffee, the beauty that surrounds me, and the undeniable feeling that I am taken care of and everything will be alright.
The Journey Begins
In just five days, I’ll be on my way to a different country, a different city. I will be by myself, embarking on a new adventure. The tuition is paid, my lodging is set. Everything is in place (well, I haven’t quite started packing so there is that…) and I only need to go, to experience, to savor. Every morning I am reminded that this is a gift to myself, that I am finally allowing myself to follow a dream and be carried by the flow of a new adventure in life. Even beyond the pastry training period, I know that there’s no need to worry. Life has shown me time and time again, that I am supported.
I’ve come to realize what a luxury it is to reconnect with my creativity. I know not everyone has the opportunity to do this, especially if they have a full-time job and are providing for a family. For me, my mind was constantly preoccupied with work responsibilities, with anxieties from what I still needed to do and how to perform, coupled with dividing time for chores around the home, time spent with my partner, for family commitments, and for myself. No matter who you are, sometimes the day will always be too short. If I wanted to really live a full life with creativity, I had to intentionally carve out time for it.
Like a lot of jobs out there, my job was paying the bills but failed to fulfill me. And isn’t that a familiar story? As soon as my eyes opened and my feet hit the floor, my mind was filled with ideas I had if I truly lived life just for me, but instead I had to fire up my work laptop and deliver results for something I failed to truly care about. I felt like I was wasting time, living as a corporate drone for decades now, and I couldn’t see myself doing this until retirement. The prospect filled me with misery and regret and now that I am approaching my late thirties and have been in the corporate world for almost two decades now, I knew something had to change and I had to act while I still could.
Removing Fear and Welcoming Flow
So I bit the bullet. I resigned from my job. As soon as I did, the creativity came easily. My writing just flowed. My ideas were endless, and my imagination was the most lively it has ever been in years. I realized that a lot of my mental capacity was devoted to making more money for the shareholders of every company that I ever worked at.
Why did I wait so long to allow myself this change?
The answer of course, was fear. Fear of leaving the security of a stable job. Fear of relying on “the arts” and “creativity” to make ends meet. The voices of doubt, heavy with judgement and disappointment, were loud. They came from my parents, friends talking about the artist lifestyle, society’s definitions of success.
After years of ignoring these signs from within me, these creative impulses, and sometimes even voices, I finally realized that no one can define success but me. No one can live my life but me. So I made the choice for ME. Just ME.
Not because society told me this is what successful people should do. Not because this is the fastest path to get money and be in an “esteemed status” among peers. What a load of crock that programming is anyway.
So yes, this might be the most incredibly selfish thing I’ve ever done and I mean selfish in the best possible way. It is freeing to finally do this, and it makes me wonder how many people with incredible talents never pursue their dreams because of the narratives they’ve been told as children.
When I resigned from my job, creating came easily. I didn’t have to divide my time to think about spreadsheets and metrics. And to be a little dramatic and use a metaphor here, my life previously felt like a movie playing in black and white. As soon as I said “I quit” to the kind of life that failed to cultivate my soul, the colors flowed back, easily. As if they’ve just been waiting for me to stop blocking my own self from this happiness.
One of my first watercolors when I started studying flowers.
Balancing With Practicality and Planning
Practicality still plays a vital role of course. Nobody romanticizes the starving artist trope anymore. Art and creativity suffer when basic needs aren’t met, and the reality is, we need the financial stability to support our passions. It’s impossible to create your best work (or even some kind of creative work) while battling hunger or desperation.
That’s why I didn’t just quit willy-nilly. Of course I’ve been devising a plan for years, but I just didn’t know when I was going to do it. I was inadvertently making an exit plan so I could pursue a dream eventually. To ensure I’d have a roof over my head, that I still had warm meals, and the security still of knowing the lights would stay on. Reconnecting with my creativity meant creating a foundation where I felt safe and supported. That means having the ability to give The Man the finger with the semblance of a back up plan. That means not alienating your support system, like your family and friends for the decision you’re making. We all have to make it easy on ourselves as much as we can. Only then can we truly devote our full bandwidth to the work we want to pursue.
Embracing Joy and Curiosity
Creativity itself is a joyful pursuit, for me, it’s a practice of curiosity and wonder. It’s about asking, “What if I try this? What If I mix these ideas? Oh, what’s that?” and about giving myself permission to explore without judgment. Throughout my life I realize that I’ve been experimenting with things I never imagined: with writing, with dabbling in watercolors, with eagerly volunteering to bake desserts for potlucks.
One of my favorite recipes to bring to a summer barbecue, a pavlova.
The process itself becomes the reward. Every time I approach a new project with curiosity, the day is inspired, and I feel more alive. I feel grateful to have the chance and the time to do this more now. I feel appreciative of the mind that allows these words to flow, the fingers that allow me to write, the life experiences that allow me to create something in a particular way, using particular things, feeling particular emotions.
It’s not about achieving perfection or any kind of result anymore. It’s about finding joy in my act of creation. Even when something doesn’t turn out as planned, it’s still fulfilling for me to have brought it into existence. Each creation is a small step towards allowing my true self to come out.
Inviting Community and Connection
One of the most unexpected joys of this journey has been the sense of community I’ve found along the way. When I opened up about my creative pursuits – like my decision to study pastry in Paris this year – people responded with encouragement and shared their own dreams. It felt as though giving myself permission to live with authenticity also inspired others to reflect on their own passions.
Creativity thrives in connection. Sharing stories, collaborating on projects, and exchanging the novel, the weird, the interesting ideas with others have expanded my world in ways I didn’t anticipate.
Reconnecting with my creativity has been a transformative experience, filled with challenges of course, but also immense growth. It’s a reminder to me that life is meant to be lived fully and richly – with purpose, passion, and fulfillment. This path may not be the easiest, and it may not be for everyone, but right now, it’s the one that feels the truest to who I am.
I got this question the other day: How are you able to take such a bold step, leaving a life of stability to pursue something more creative?
It wasn’t a small change, mind you, but a potentially life-altering decision. I resigned from my job and I’m now getting ready to move temporarily to another continent, knowing absolutely no one there. And yet, it doesn’t feel scary to me. It feels exciting, not anxiety-inducing, because I tend to imagine good things that could happen while I am there.
This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision. It actually took me months to be ready. I checked in with myself every day, asking if I still wanted to go forward with this. I’d often tell myself, “You know, there’s still time to back out”, but after listening to the answer, I knew I didn’t want to. I wanted this experience.
The key for me to making this leap with excitement rather than fear lies in the practices I’ve built over the years. These habits didn’t just prepare me for this adventure; they’ve transformed how I view life itself.
Daily Practices That Helped Me Prepare
Meditation: For over two years, I have meditated daily each morning. This practice quieted the negative thought patterns in my head and helped me cultivate a sense of peace and clarity. Mediation made space for my inner voice – the one encouraging me to take this leap- to be heard.
Gratitude: Gratitude became my foundation. Each morning I’d feel thankful for the simplest things as soon as I opened my eyes. At night, I’d recount the good things that happened during my day, letting myself bask in appreciation for these experiences, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem. For instance, just being thankful for having a sunny day, or having the ability to walk outside (things we normally take for granted) had an immense impact on my mood.
My gratitude journal with coffee first thing in the morning.
Openness to New Experiences: I made a conscious choice to remain open to things. When opportunities came along, I didn’t automatically say “No” to them, even if they seemed to not be my cup of tea, on the surface. In fact I leaned into them, knowing that I could enjoy a new experience, I could meet new people. I accepted invitations and discovered little nuggets of information or delightful experiences along the way. These small acts of openness taught me that life often loves to surprise us in the best ways when we’re willing to say yes and give it a chance.
Mindfulness: I’ve practiced mindfulness to stop myself from ruminating about the past, or worrying about the future. When I caught my thoughts in a negative spiral, I’d pause, breathe, and focus on five physical things around me. Mindfulness became easier when I surrounded myself with beauty and nature. Over the years, I made our home a sanctuary, filled with plants, a space where birds visit, and places you can walk to and connect with the world.
Walking: Walking has become one of my favorite pastimes. In fact, I walk around our neighborhood twice a day, around a path my partner and I have affectionately labeled “The Loop”. It allows us to notice our surroundings, feel connected to our neighborhood, feel grounded, and sometimes find clarity when we’re pondering some problem at work. It also becomes quality time for us to have conversations while being outside and appreciating the place we live in.
One of the many beautiful sunsets I have enjoyed in my lifetime.
Protecting My Energy
Limiting Social Media and News Consumption: one of the most impactful changes I made was tapering down my social media usage in the past five year.s I noticed how “doom scrolling” left me feeling anxious and disconnected. I also stopped paying attention to traditional news outlets. The news we get now is designed to evoke fear and worry, often sensationalizing events as it causes more people to tune in. By stepping away, I freed up mental and emotional space to focus on what brings me peace and joy. Without someone constantly telling you that the world is a terrible and dangerous place, I can focus on more positive aspects of my journey.
Realizing We Are Spiritual Beings: I am coming to understand that I am a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around. This shifted my perspective entirely. We are meant to experience more joy, more laughter, more love. Life is not meant to feel like a constant grind, despite what society tells you; it should flow with ease and delight.
Why It’s Worth It
By cultivating these habits, I’ve shifted from a mindset of fear and doubt to one of curiosity and excitement. When I imagine my future, I see opportunities for growth, learning, creativity and connection. Taking this step feels as natural as breathing for me, it’s the next step to the life I’ve been building. The life that I want to build is a life rooted in joy, love, and laughter.
For anyone thinking about a bold move for their future, my advice is — trust yourself. There is no one that would know the next step for your life, but you. No one else knows your journey. Build habits that can tamp down that noise from the external world and allow you to tune into your inner voice. Allow yourself to be open to joy, beauty, and love that life has to offer and live the life of your dreams.
The Wren's Journey 